笑话(1)

有点黄黄的笑话, 用Hoklish(Hokkien-English)写的.大家看看吧: :)

I got this frend Ahpek, he just got to know one China Piao mei whois in Malaysia on "vacation" so after a few days going out with this Piao mei then one day Ahpek asked the Piao mei :

Ahpek : Piao mei ar ... we go out so many days ledi wor .... when you wanna lemme wat wat u jek?
Piao mei : Ahpek ar .... you so fast wanna wat wat me meh? I only know you for a few days only worrr
Ahpek : a few days still not long enuff to show my sincerity meh? I really lafu you wan worr
Piao mei : Still not enuff ler .... there is something you havent done yet ler ....
Ahpek : What is that jek? faster tell me ... i fast fast go do!
Piao mei : All my frends mia bf all got buy them jewelry wan wor ... but you ...
Ahpek : Say no more! I bring you go buy now!

Ahpek then bring Piao mei go Kedai Emas Poh Kong .... you should see the glow on Piao mei's face when she enters Poh Kong dat time.


As Ahpek enters the shop, he loud loud tok to the small counter clerk :

Ahpek : Eh ... ask your Manager come! I want buy diamond ring for my gf!

Later the Manager come with 2 packs of Drinho Packet drink ....

Manager : Boss, sit down and have a drink first ... we slow slow tok ok?
Ahpek : Eh lu Manager har? then bring me a very spesel diamong ring! i wanna buy for my pretty gf here.
Manager : Wuah! you really "sik foh " (know your stuffs) ... know how to come to our place asking for diamond ring! our diamond ring very fehmes wan! Nah boss .... this one 3 carats, very shinny diamond .... after discount i gibe lu RM5,000 ok anot?
Ahpek : I think you no skool much wan la! which part of " Very Spesel" you dont understand? 3 carat?!!! My maid's diamond ring also more than 3 carats la!!!
Manager : Wuahh!!!! very little peeple so expert like you wan ler boss! I like you very much! Nah what about this? this wan 5 carats .... after discount RM13,000 only.
Ahpek : What discount discount? I dunwan those got discount discount wan! bring me something without discount!


Manager : Wuahh!!! ok ok I understand ledi boss! You really come to the right place liow! I recomen you this 10 carats diamond ring! This ring last time owned by itu HK Singer Kenny B mia ex wife wan ... this one made from the precious blue diamond from Egypt, only our shop got this! This one knot gibe discount ... the price is RM90,000
Ahpek : Hmmm ... lidis lar i like! come come lemme take a look

*Ahpek then pass it to the Piao mei and ask her :*

Ahpek : How baobei? you like this one anot? last time Kenny B's ex wife also wear before wan leh ...
Piao mei : I like Ahpek! I like!

*Ahpek then pass back the ring to the Manager and said :*

Ahpek : ok la ... I take this one ... just now you said RM90,000 izzit ?
Manager : Yes boss, RM90,000 .... no discount
Ahpek : Ok lar .. my gf here love the ring very much .... i take it la!
Manager : Tenkiu boss!!! How would you like to pay? with Cash or card boss?
Ahpek : Cash? lu siao har? who walk on the street with 90k in their poket wan?
Manager : soli soli ... then you pay card izzit?
Ahpek : Pay card??!!! you know how high is the interest anot??!! diu!
Manager : Then?
Ahpek : Lidis lar .. I give you cek ok? you no need to gimme the ring 1st .... today is saturday mah bank alredi closed so u wait till monday only go bank take money la! the cek cleared ledi only i come and take the ring ok anot?
Manager : Ohhh ... lidat ok la! ok set boss, later monday your cek cleared ledi I will call you to come and take the ring ok?
Ahpek : dont call so early hor! I dont wakeup till 12pm wan.
Manager : Yes sir! I know sir.

*Then Ahpek issued the cek and hand it over to the Manager then Ahpek and Piao mei left the shop ...... 2 days later (Monday) the Manager called Ahpek on his handphone : *


Manager : Oi Cilaka lu! your account left RM18.02 only la! Diu! you where got money to buy a RM90,000 ring??!!!
Ahpek : I know my account no money wor ... I pretend to wanna buy my gf the ring only mah ... Knot ah?
Manager : Wuah you farker! If your gf know you are dem pokai I sure she will dump 9 u straight away!
Ahpek : AAhhh .... dat one I know ledi laa ... tell you something you derno lar .... you know how nice she serbis-ED me on Saturday and Sunday anot?